Foster (fôstr, fstr) verb: to promote the growth and development of; to nurture; to cherish.
How very fitting that by definition Karon Foster’s surname illustrates her role as a carer for 10 year-old Lauren*: nurturing, and above all, cherishing. Ms Foster, a local Wollongong resident and full-time Water Service Operator at Sydney Water, has been a foster carer with CareSouth’s Family Choices program for the last two years. During this time, she has made quite a difference in little Lauren’s life, as well as the life of Lauren’s family.
“Being a carer for me is rewarding…the parents get a rest and Lauren gets my undivided attention and is never rushed,” said Ms Foster. “My time with her is precious, she gives me love, joy and happiness…and it is good for everyone, good for me, good for her mum and good for Lauren.”
Lauren, who Ms Foster refers to as Princess or Mousey, a nickname given to her by her brothers, was born with a disability that requires 24-hour support of all her daily needs. Ms Foster spends every second weekend with Lauren, giving her family a small break and giving Lauren her care and attention. This arrangement is part of CareSouth’s Family Choices program, which provides shared care for children and young people with disabilities.
“While Lauren’s family has parental responsibility for her, Karon also provides a safe, stable and nurturing home environment for
Lauren every other weekend and on some holidays,” says Rhonda Miller, Family Choices program manager. “Ideally, the Family Choices program strives to create and support this exact relationship- where the carer becomes part of the extended family and everyone works as a team.”
“The first time I met Lauren, I didn’t know what to do really so I grabbed her hand and saw her smile…it was right then I fell in love with the little Princess,” said Ms Foster. “To start with I was a little nervous, unsure of the unknown, but after a couple of home visits I got more confidant.”
In addition to taking care of Lauren’s most basic needs – feeding, burping and changing her – Ms Foster goes above and beyond to do special things for Lauren. Ms Foster has arranged for a lunch on the beach, a trip to Gerringong, shopping at Shellharbour and get-togethers at her sister’s house. She also enjoys her regular walks with Lauren.
“We both love walking together and we often (on good days) go for long walks between feeds,” said Ms Foster. “She loves the outdoors and fresh air.”
But it is not always easy. It can be hard work and has been a gradual learning process for Ms Foster. She first learned how to feed Lauren, then gradually spent half days with her, then whole, then entire weekends. Unable to speak, Lauren often communicates through verbal cries or sounds.
“I am learning the meaning of certain cries—I can tell the difference now between sadness and happiness, and I can tell when she is in pain,” said Ms Foster. “Sometimes I don’t know what she wants so I have to call her mum and get advice. Everyday is a mystery with Lauren. There are nights when she sleeps and nights when she doesn’t at all…it is hard work sometimes, but it is worth it and I am learning every day. I just think she’s marvellous,” she said.
Ms Foster remembers a touching moment this Christmas. Lauren had to go to the hospital in Sydney and Ms Foster stayed by her bedside all Christmas day, feeding her meals and making sure she was taken care of. Unable to make many movements, Ms Foster went down to rub Lauren’s nose- a sign of affection they have established over the years – and for the first time, Lauren rubbed back.
“I asked her to blink twice if she loved Auntie Karon, and she blinked twice,” said Ms Foster. “It might not have been anything- but I thought it was. Some people think just because she cannot talk she cannot think, but I know she can. She can hear me and she laughs at me- I know she does,” says Ms Foster.
“She has become part of our family now,” said Ms Foster. “I am the lucky one out of this, I got the little princess I never had…I am lucky the family shares her with me.”
For more information about CareSouth’s Family Choices program or to get involved, please visit www.caresouth.org.au/our-services/family-choices/ or phone 1300 554 260 (toll free) or (02) 4423 6833 from a mobile.
*Lauren is not her real name.
