Maryanne, grandmother
Illawarra resident, Maryanne is a foster carer with CareSouth along with her mother and sister.
“My daughter lives at home with her three-year-old son and I realised that since I was caring for him during the day, I could easily care for other children who are in need,” said Maryanne.
“I rang around a bit and looked on the internet but CareSouth were the only organisation that sent out a person to talk to me, as opposed to just information and pamphlets,” she said.
“Everyone in our family has benefitted from the experience, I feel so proud of the progress of my foster children. We care for three siblings and they have learnt a lot from my grandson. Foster children are quite different from other children and need so much more in many different ways. Spending time with a toddler has helped the children I care for to catch up on some of the social skills that they missed out on learning when they were younger.
“Becoming a foster carer is a big lifestyle change and it does impact the whole family. At first it was a bit hectic and a big adjustment to include two five-year-olds and a six-year-old into our family, it can be noisy and disruptive. But we have settled into a good routine and it is easy now,” said Maryanne.
“My sister and my mum have also become foster carers with CareSouth in the past few months which is benefitting all of the children that we care for. We have daily contact with each other and just took all nine children, all aged under nine, on a holiday down the coast which worked really well.
“I would highly recommend becoming a foster carer with CareSouth, to people who have a genuine like and love for children, who are patient and tolerant and who have a stable lifestyle and a stable relationship. CareSouth provide wonderful support and the training is so helpful in equipping carers to meet the needs of the children we care for,” she said.
Kim, mother of 5
Kim has always wanted to be a foster carer, but rearing five children of her own meant waiting until they were old enough. She is so glad she put her fears aside and had a go at this valuable role.
“It is better than I expected, it is really rewarding. Initially we cared for a baby and a three-year-old and they really livened up the house. I loved seeing my 16-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter interact with the little ones,” said Kim.
“Although it was hard to give the two little ones back, it is good to see their mum get her act together. I’ve seen them at the shops and I can tell that she is getting better, it makes it worth having cared for them.
“We’ve been caring for a 12-year-old girl for the past nine months. People comment about how much she has changed in that time, in terms of her manners, attitude and lifestyle. We’ve made a special effort to help her become responsible for her own life and become more aware of morals.
“She has also really enjoyed some of the family activities she has been able to share with us. Simple things like going camping and seeing snow for the first time. She was so proud to win some trophies at our local swimming club, and she is taking drum lessons. Even if she does return to her mum, she’ll be able to take these things with her.
“Most people say they don’t know if they could be a foster carer because they’re not sure if they could hand them back. But it is so worthwhile, my response is just do it, especially if you have a spare room.
“We can’t say enough about CareSouth, they are so supportive. They visit us each week, they have paid for us to do courses, and we can phone them anytime if we need advice. They make it fun and relaxed too,” said Kim.
Debbie, no birth children
Debbie spent 20 years trying to have children of her own, now a foster carer she is loving the experience of being a mum.
“For years I’ve been an aunty and a godmother but it is so different being a mum, to be able to do the fun stuff as well as care for a child 24/7 is so rewarding, I feel more contented as a person,” said Debbie.
“We’ve been caring for a 12-year-old girl for the past six weeks. She and I have developed a strong bond in that time, and she has a new excitement for life with all of the new opportunities available to her. She is like a sponge soaking up the new experiences, there is so much she wants to see and do. She never used to giggle or laugh.
“She has also really enjoyed the family activities she has been able to share with us, and is already calling my parents ‘nan and pop’. She has developed new skills on how to treat people, and has learnt a lot in terms of speaking more clearly, personal hygiene, eating well.
Debbie believes the main attributes needed to be a successful foster carer are to be flexible and patient.
“I’ve discovered I have patience opening my heart and home to a child, I wouldn’t swap it for anything, it is so rewarding,” said Debbie.
“We can’t say enough about CareSouth, they are so supportive. They visit us each week, they have paid for us to do courses, and we can phone them anytime if we need advice. They make it fun and relaxed too,” said Debbie.
Barbara & Rick, grandparents
“CareSouth provides wonderful support to its foster parents,” say Barbara and Rick.
“They look after the people who work for them, they keep in regular contact with us and with the child. We know that in a crisis they will come straight away to assist us,” said Barbara.
“A lot of the other carers are new to it, so they ask us for advice at the training days,” said Barbara. “Even though we’ve been fostering for about 30 years we’ve learnt a lot through the training days. So far we’ve completed training in mental health issues, sexual abuse and behaviour management”.
“It’s very rewarding, seeing kids turnaround”, said Barbara. “It’s knowing that someone cares that seems to make the difference”.
Barbara and Rick believe the key to successful foster parenting is showing children respect.
“You need to have clear boundaries and explain when they have done something wrong,” said Rick. “Each child is completely different and you need to come to understand each other, you learn what to expect from them and they learn what to expect from you,” he said.
Their message for someone considering fostering, “Come and speak to someone who is actually doing it. They’ll tell you the truth, there can be problems and it is not always easy, but you’ll always get a laugh. There are so many kids out there crying out for help, who haven’t experienced a family that eats dinner at the table with the TV off or a family that plays board games”.
“The joy of it is seeing children happier and more contented because people have cared for them,” said Barbara.
Glenda & David, Foster carers for a child with a disability in the Southern Highlands
Southern Highlands residents Glenda and David are foster carers for a child with a disability.
“I wanted to work from home and I knew a lot of parents who have children with disabilities need respite. My brother and sister-in-law are also foster carers and they recommended that I give it a go,” said Glenda.
“It is really rewarding and fulfilling. I am so happy to see how Andrew (not his real name) has developed in the time that he has been in our care. He is talking more, socialising more and is better at following through in completing a task.
“It is wonderful having a job that really impacts someone’s life – David and I can see a huge difference in Andrew,” she said.
“Being foster carers has also benefited our family. David and I get to see more of each other with me working from home.
“CareSouth have been great, they are so supportive, you are definitely not on your own. As soon as there is an issue they are here straightaway. They are regularly in contact and if you need anything like equipment or support from people like speech pathologists they will arrange it,” said Glenda.
Robina, respite foster carer
Robina is so glad that her daughter suggested she become a foster carer when she noticed a story about CareSouth in the local paper. She has now been doing respite care for more than four years.
“I didn’t know I would enjoy it so much, I absolutely recommend becoming a foster carer, it gives you so much, I get a real buzz from it. The children become an extension of your own family,” said Robina.
“I look forward to when the kids are coming, every child is special, you learn so much from them because every child is different.
Robina has cared for a 14-year-old boy on weekends and holidays for the past four years.
“We have a built up a really good relationship. He enjoys my company and I enjoy his. We do fun things like swimming and fishing.
“CareSouth are very supportive, you’re not alone at any time, you can phone them 24 hours-a-day if you need to. They are interested in the children and there is a lot of interaction between the caseworker, yourself and the kids. They make sure you know what you are doing, and provide courses and training,” said Robina.
Nicky & Grant
“The highlight is seeing kids have fun and grasping the opportunities that you give them,” said Nicky.
“Being a foster parent is an emotional investment and it is rewarding and enjoyable getting to know new people, but you need to be realistic about the commitment. The dynamics of your family will change and giving time to another child is physically and emotionally demanding,” she said.
“We wouldn’t be foster parents without CareSouth’s support. When we enquired about CareSouth’s foster program three years ago, we were given honest and realistic advice about the type of behaviour we might experience. CareSouth does an excellent job helping young people maintain contact with their family and cope with everyday life,” she said.
Nicky’s message for someone considering fostering, “Come and speak to someone who is actually doing it. You need to be an easygoing, giving and fair person and your children need to be independent and mature enough to cope with sharing their family with another child”.
“We see it as a lifetime commitment, our foster child is part of our family, we won’t just say goodbye when she turns 18. We enjoy maintaining contact with the young people that have stayed with us and there is a sense of loss when they move on,” said Nicky.
Respite Foster Carer – Wendy
Shoalhaven resident, Wendy became a foster carer for the first time with CareSouth 6 years ago.
“I wanted to help and put something back into the community. I’m good with kids and it is good to continue that.
“I care for two children for a weekend once a month and during school holidays, to give their full time foster carers some time off. The kids think it is a little holiday for them,” said Wendy.
“One of the children I care for has come such a long way. His carers have been so consistent with him, he has turned the corner and high school has done him the world of good.
“I also cared for his sister when she was in foster care. She recently called in to visit me. She was determined to find me and wanted to talk about the fun things we did. She had even remembered how I’d taught her to make cheese on toast,” she said.
“Before I became a foster carer I was worried that I wouldn’t cope. I’m not fond of confrontation and I wasn’t sure how I would deal with it with a foster child. But it can be so rewarding, you get to know the child as a person and they get to know you. Even though I just do respite care it is still a constant in those children’s lives. Some of the kids call me ‘nan’ or ‘aunty’. I really enjoy doing being a foster carer,” said Wendy.
“The 24 hour back up support that CareSouth provides is just marvellous and the training is so helpful in equipping carers to meet the needs of the children we care for,” she said.
Donna, long term foster carer
Shoalhaven resident, Donna became a foster carer for the first time with CareSouth four years ago ago.
“I had always said that when my kids were older I would become a foster carer. I have a passion and a heart for young people,” said Donna.
“The experience has really benefitted our family. We are all less selfish, more appreciative of what we have and less likely to be judgemental as we are so aware of how a person’s environment can impact their behaviour,” she said.
“We began caring for a young person for a three month period but he has lived with us on and off for about four years now and we have developed a good rapport with him. I found the training excellent in preparing me for the role modelling that is involved. Plus I have had a lot of support from CareSouth’s caseworkers and the clinical psychologist,” said Donna.
“CareSouth is a great organisation to work with, they go above and beyond what is expected for the welfare, health and well being of the young people in foster care,” she said.
“It is so rewarding seeing that you have made a valuable contribution to that young person moving forward in their life,” she said.
Sarah & Bob, long term foster carers
Ulladulla resident, Sarah became a foster carer for the first time with CareSouth 6 years ago.
“I saw an article in the newspaper and I thought, ‘we’ve got a spare room in our house’, so I went to an information session. Even my sister is a foster carer now,” said Sarah.
“It gives me a purpose in life. I love staying home and I’m a giver, I like to keep busy. My husband Bob loves to have the kids around,” she said.
“We’re not perfect, this is my second marriage, my father-in-law was adopted. We’re not your norm but our family functions. My own son was used to having me to himself before we became foster carers so we make sure we still get quality time together,” said Sarah.
“We try to have a bit of family time. We go to the beach a lot, we play cricket in the street and cards, and on Monday nights we have someone over to dinner or make pizza and watch a movie. We try to support both the boys in things like playing sport.
“We do expect the boys to take responsibility, they have a roster for emptying the dishwasher, they do their own washing. And there are a few rules, like everyone’s bedroom is their own private place. There is no TV between 9am and 5pm on work days and they can only use the play station for an hour a day,” she said.
“We have built up a good relationship of trust. We act like parents but we always give an option. We gave Mark (not his real name) the choice, whether to do his HSC, or to go to TAFE or to find a job,” said Sarah.
“Mark has developed a great sense of humour in the time that he has lived with us. When he arrived he was afraid that he was clumsy and broke things and that we would get angry with him. He is so settled now, we do talk about his future and we’ve reassured him that he can live with us as long as he wants to. He was worried that he would have to move out when he turns 18,” she said.
“CareSouth provide wonderful support and the training is so helpful in equipping carers to meet the needs of the children we care for,” said Sarah.
